Is it wierd...

...that I am sad? Ben is one years old today and thinking of my baby over the past few days I've had a heavy heart. There is nothing quite like bringing a new baby into the world and than, in what seems just a few days, watching him tower over other babies and mimic toddlers... I miss my baby. I know I should be writing about Ben today and how cute he has been with his birthday cakes and parties. But I am feeling too much like a mother right now... a lost one. I don't know if I'm ready to move on. I thought that I would love having the freedom that came from weaning Ben... instead I just miss that time we had together (O and WOW it hurts).  I know anyone with multiple children reading this post must think me a ninnie... But I think I'll be a ninnie for just a few more days and than move onward and upward (as if I had a choice in stopping the aging process). Really though, Ben's birthday was perfect. He was soo cute with everything!!! Below are the pics from Ben's Elephant party...

 Ben's Birthday Party with his Cousins

 Ben is doing great job lately at scaring me to death on his first efforts sliding down the stairs

 The answer to your burning questions:  Yes the cake did take a while to make and no the head is not made out of a cake mix...

Ben's gift from our friend Katie and Lucy and Ella

ps Ben's four top teeth joined his two bottom teeth this past week.

Motherhood

You know that post I wrote right after Ben was born about entering a world I never knew-- a world where every cry was a call to action. It's been close to a year now since that world began.  My world is no longer my own. Even if I wanted it to be, it is not possible-- I'm not complaining-- I'm just saying things are different when your a mom (I know earth shattering).  Well since we have verified the existence of an alternate universe (pre-mom, post-mom)  I want to bring you into my world for a moment-- so you can catch a glimpse of the journey I am on. My every step now a days is strategically placed to avoid a toy or cup that Ben has put on the ground in my path. I find the cutest things in the weirdest places-- my iPhone cord on the kitchen floor, the book "Are you my mother" at the foot of my bed, Ben's dinner below his high chair (OK I know that is not a weird place for it, but still how goofy), his favorite car under my bed, and so on...

Now let me introduce you to another funny developmental step that happens when a child starts sprouting teeth... for you men reading (which I assume there is none) don't blush too much. They chew on things they are not supposed to. Ben now has two bottom teeth and one and a half top teeth. As of today, I've made a decision. I am weaning my child-- it has become too painful ;)

Finally, Ben's scoot is proving to be a little nerve racking. For instead of pulling himself up and down stairs from with his belly pointing downward, he lifts his legs and than scuffles up (see movie below).  This would be all fine and dandy except by the time he has lifted himself up the step he is balancing precariously on the step edge with one leg on and one leg in the air....

To end this post I have to bring you into one last part of the experience of motherhood... When Ben smiles and wraps his tiny arms around my neck I am complete.  I love him more than I ever thought possible. I would give my life for him a hundred times over. What a blessing it is to be a mother.