Month 13

It’s almost month 13 of Ben’s life. Currently he is standing and walking around furniture—with the help of those structures of course. He has this new habit of screaming very loudly every time he wants something… This can be very annoying when I’m in an enclosed space (like a car) because his voice echos off the walls and back into my eardrums at a higher velocity than it was sent out.  I really do worry about permanent hearing loss as a result of his outbursts.  I have to say though despite injury to my person it is so cute to watch his feet point his fists tighten and his face go red every time he screams.  It reminds me of myself in fact, except for instead of screaming - I cried, and after I lost all the air I could muster my body gave in and I fainted into a pile on the floor, where I promptly and inconveniently wet my pants….  So lets hope he doesn’t get too much of his moms determination. 

Besides his cute and not so cute tantrums I still have a very affectionate baby. One who loves hugs and kisses and is open and giving to anyone who would accept his love.  His scoot is still as silly as ever, yesterday one of my friends compared it to that of a monkey, swinging his little body forward with one arm.  I imagine his left arm is considerably stronger than his right, due to this continuous movement.  He loves to take off and put things on. His socks, a hat, a banana…. Yep he loves putting his food in his hair once he is done with putting it in his mouth.  You’d be amazed at how great food works as a substitute for hair gel ;) Well as far as his eye color, it is definetly green with a hint of brown! I love it!  And while he still predominately looks like a Clarke, his eyes and calcic in his hair are definitely Blackhurst.  Well my little napper (see below) is starting to show signs of awaking, so until next time—keep your hands and feet inside at all times—it’ s going to be a bumpy ride.

Sometimes

Every once in awhile I want to write about something that causes me to pause and wait.  Not sure what to think, not sure when to make a decision. I look around my tiny cluttered apartment… safe from grown up responsibility (only not really).  I can use mom's bread when I am out and turn up the heat without worrying it will cause greater expense. But down in my apartment I know we’re really carving out what will someday be our future.  This interim time - won’t last forever, despite how Will sometimes feels about never moving on and having roadblocks at every corner. At some point we will need to move. Move out of Layton, and now possibly out of state. So far we have heard back from two colleges, one offered an interview and the other did not. It was U of U that did not offer an interview, and a school in Ohio that did.  

I don’t fly by the seat of my pants well… but I have been forced to do so since marrying Will. Our marriage led to strong feelings to start a family, which in return led to quitting my job and putting all my faith in Will’s recovery.  I know that the decisions we have made so far are in accordance with the Lord’s will. And mostly it is the peace I feel – living with these decisions - that move me forward… Praying that somehow the way will be provided for Will to get back into school and or a job.  In the meantime, looking at Ben and wanting the best future I can possibly provide for him. I would scale any mountain to give him that. I know Will would too. For now, however, instead of scaling we are watching and waiting- hoping that we will get our chance. 

Ten things I love about Ben

OK I decided it was high time I wrote a real birthday post about my little Benny. I'm done sulking ;)

Starting from number 10:

10- I love his morning squeals and baby noises-- his voice is much more pleasant to wake up to than the sound of a blaring alarm
9- I love the way he knocks over the dirty diaper pail and plays with the materials therein -- until he looks around to see he has been caught at which time he screams and hands the discarded diaper my way
8- I love the way he is unafraid to scale the stairs and slide down them
7- I love that he will sit on anyone's lap--- stranger danger has never been in his vocabulary
6- I love when he is done eating he takes the rest of his dinner and disposes it on the floor one piece at a time
5- I love that he loves babies
4- I love his silly little scoot
3- I love that when I ask him to give me a hug or a kiss he actually does it
2- I love his smile- with a dimple (I never expected a baby of mine would have one of these)
1- I love the way he loves- it's so pure and sweet

Summer

ps Will said he loves the way Ben doesn't wake him up in the middle of the night (the rascal ;)

pps how come no one told me I spelled weird wrong in the title of my last post?