Laughing

I have to take a minute today to say: He laughed.  Yesterday James laughed for the first time. I had forgotten how extraordinary it is to hear a little person laugh for the very first time ever. To know or hope that we will share a lifetime of laughing and smiling is the best feeling. I love James so much. He is three months old and he makes my heart melt.

Summer

ps This video is of James talking. I thought that it was too cute not to post :)

pps James does not have cold -- the cough is his routine- it's his way of getting rid of acid that comes up from his stomach and settles in his throat.

Family fun

 My little James is my constant companion. In every sense of the phrase. He is there as I sit at the computer with my work from 9-12 pm at night. He is by my side all day-- I wouldn't dare leave him alone with Ben. He doesn't need to be held as much as Ben did, but he does like to be where he can see me. In fact he is 2 1/2 months old now and his eyes follow me everywhere I go around the room. He smiles when prompted and I don't know how we did it but we have another baby with a dimple. His smile just makes me melt. He is starting to grab my arm and shirt. His coordination seems to be right on track.   He loves Ben, when he is not being attacked by Ben. He is my everything. I love him so much. I feel so lucky to be his mother. 

Speaking of luck, our "fighting" phase is over. Ben and I are friends again. In fact we're best buddies. If I have to go somewhere for a minute without Will I love to take Ben with me. My errands are so much more fun with my little buddy a part of them. Ben's favorite phrase right now is "mommy do it."  When Will and I are exiting the car-- "mommy do it" I have to take him out. When Ben wants to watch a video "mommy do it" I have to turn it on. When we are eating "mommy do it" I have to load his plate. Will wondered if I was getting tired of "doing everything" _ I told him not usually. Ben wants me- he seems to need me- I love that! We're entering our Christamas season and Ben is so cute about everything. We turned the Christmas lights on our tree tonight and Ben threw his arms in the air and gasped. When we were decorating last night, it was so cute I found some of the decorations in his bedroom on his shelf-- he had taken the liberty to decorate his own room. I'm really liking this toddler phase (minus the tantrums of course ;)

Will and I are finally breathing again. We are getting used to our work schedule and to life with two kids. For now our finances are stable and we like our ward. We're still very far from where we want to be -- Aka -- Will wants  a real career again and I want a mini van. -- You know one that fits more than two kids-- I am really enjoying the two we have and can't wait for more!

We'll I better sign off. I hope you're all well and know that we are well….

Love,

Summer

James' Blessing

SO many things have happened that I am sure I will forget to mention even half of them in the past month. BUt what is worse is-- Ben says and does cute things daily. And unless I blog everyday or follow the little tike around with a recorder I'm going to miss talking about 98 percent of it. For example we told him it was time for prayer tonight and he proceeded to sit down and conduct his very own prayer without any prompting. He blessed me and Will and James. He is so cute. On top of the cute has also come a whole lot of crazy. He unfortunately has really had a hard time adjusting to our moving and James' birth and a new ward all at the same time. He has been skipping most of his weekly naps and has only fallen asleep in his own bed a couple times since moving to Centerville almost a month ago. Tired and confused the poor child has taken me to the end of my rope more than a few times in the past few months. Honestly I've felt like a bad mom- like "why is he doing this? am I not giving him enough attention?"  I think the worst is over though. He seems to be crying only five minutes at his bedroom door instead of 1 hr before he falls asleep there in front of the door. Speaking of doors I better be knocking on a wood one right now ;)

Today was James' baby blessing. It went off without a hitch!  Which is great because Ben's blessing was traumatic enough to count for four baby blessings. (Ben cried all through the blessing, I made my sister cry that day, and ran around like a crazy lady trying to make everyone in the family happy O and Ben got a cold from the whole event).  Today I decided to take it easy and guess what...people were still happy without me having to talk to them… I assigned out everything for the luncheon but the BBQ pork. We had the lunch at my brothers place which we set up the day before and the best part was James was awake and quiet through the entire blessing! This little man is becoming a very needed calm stability for me in a world that seems just out of control right now. Part of that could be that he was in my arms for 72 hours straight two weeks ago because he caught RSV and I was not about to miss out on any symptom going south so he and I stayed together and didn't leave the house for three days. His fever finally let out after the third day- I was so happy to see him smile and wiggle lots again! As a side note-- James has made Ben a little jealous at times and one of those particularly crazy toddler days where Ben refused to nap- he adorned James face with five separate scratches-- I was furious about it until two hours later when Ben just fell asleep in my arms exhausted…then I felt bad the poor kid was trying to tell me he was tired the whole time!

Now to the details of our lives. Will got a job at Fed Ex. He works nights 1-6 am in the morning… I am also holding down a stay at home writing job. So I work nights too. 9-12pm. I average about 3-5 hours of sleep -- I'm hoping now that James is older and Ben is calming down I can work during the day more to give myself more sleep at night. I have to admit to being very discouraged about Will's career right now-- I'm sure he is too. He doesn't seem to be getting interviews even though he has done a lot of volunteering, shadowing, and applications. The residency angle seems sometimes hopeless and I just don't really know where to go from here or how to encourage Will-- I feel like my advice has not necessarily been any better or more helpful than other's advice… We sold my condo and it's left a little hole in my heart-- we couldn't afford it but it had been my home for the past six years. We now live in a old apartment in Centerville- it's a little ghetto but the right size and place for us for now. Well I better get going. I've got to read my scriptures so I can get down to sleep before too late!  Sunday is my only day off ;)

Ben went tricker treating with Braden and Rachel (ya gotta love her face :)

James was Tigger for Halloween

We spent the weekend at Amy's family cabin-- it was fun!

One month Birthday!

Let's start out with little James, since he is the newest news in the family. James is one month old today. He has gained more than a pound since his birth and has already managed to catch a cold (from Ben of course). It's been nerve racking to watch my little newborn go from a runny nose to a hacking cough. I have Will listening to his lungs every other day to make sure they are still clear- and so far so good. He has been a great baby. He only fusses when he is hungry or tired and his fussers are just miniature. He loves baths and unlike his older brother he doesn't mind getting his face wet. If I had to guess who he looks like-- right now I'd say he looks like his dad and his dad's brothers. Ben seems to look more like a Clarke on the other hand. James takes well to Ben's dramatic hugs and constant desire to load him down with toys. He has only been scratched once so far by Ben and besides a few rough tugs here and there from Ben- the two boys seem to get a long great!  James' sleep schedule is pretty newborn like- up every two or three hours. His cry is cute and soft. And his long flowing brown hair is getting lighter everyday. I think we have another toe head on our hands but we'll see.

Ben had his two year old birthday a few weeks ago and it was great! We decided on a monkey theme and went to work. We played games had a monkey cake and then the kids played in the sand box after their treat. Ben loved the balloons and the handful of cousins and friends who showed up to celebrate. As for two year milestones-- Ben speaks in sentences now and is fond of screaming and hitting if he doesn't get his way. I have to say though I appreciate that the "tantrums" are generally short lived- Ben seems to be very even tempered. He is also very happy 98 % of the time. His eating habits are still a little barbarian -- aka he throws his food off the table when he is done. However, he is a great eater and loves fruits and vegetables. 

As for the entire clan-- we're in the midst of changes. We think we will need to be moved out of my Bountiful condo in a week-- and we still don't have a place to live. I know crazy. If we don't find a place we'll stow away at my parents for a month or two. Will may have found a part time job- more on that later. And I am still working from home. I think I worry too much that all this moving and changing is going to scar my little ones-- but really I think it's doing more of a number on me. Keep tuned cause it's going to be  a bumpy ride. I believe it will all turn out in the end though ;)

James Wallace

There I was. It was 4 o clock in the morning and the first one hit. I thought it was just another Braxton Hicks, but then 10 mins later another one came. This time I tried getting up to relieve the pain but no relief came. It couldn't be-- I was a week before my due date. I was so excited but I didn't want to convince myself I was in labor if I wasn't so I waited through another hour of consistent contractions before I woke up Dad and asked him if he wanted a Sept. 7th baby. He said yes and I told him to get back to sleep, while I went in to finish some projects for work. Five mins later Will joined me and said he couldn't sleep. He read his scriptures and then took Ben for a bike ride when he woke up. The house was buzzing. I don't know how he did it but Ben even seemed to sense his little brother was on his way-- he was soooo hyper!

I called my friend up from her downstairs apartment to coach me on some hypo birthing because I was determined not to freak out once the contractions got real bad. I was planning on going into the hospital at hour 12 of my labor--- so I had some hours before I would go to the hospital. My sister in law mentioned things might go faster this time so I told her to pick up Ben in the morning, instead of the afternoon like I had planned. Will and I then drove to Salt Lake City for errands and to be closer to LDS hospital in case the labor pains intensified. (I've learned that with Ben I am to watch intensity and not my contraction times as much, because they tend to be all over the board no matter where I am in my labor period). Once we got to Salt Lake City my contractions stretched from 10 to 20 mins apart and barely hurt. I was applying more breathing techniques-- but come on! It couldn't make that much of a difference right?! We wandered the SLC cemetery and then Smiths marketplace for three hours. And then waited on the other side of the conference center. By this time my mom and dad called and said get to the hospital. I said no I'm not in pain and they said they didn't care I should go. So being the obedient daughter that I am at 4 pm I went to the hospital. On the way in I told Will I wanted to stop by the bathroom to splash water in my eyes so I look like I had been crying. I was way to jovial to be in the hospital. I cracked jokes at the check in desk (very different from the screams and tensing I was doing with Ben at this point in the process last time). We were put in a room and I was thinking-- they would send me home. But come to find out I was at a 5.5 and well into active labor. I was admitted and almost said no to the epideral but thought better of it cause I had not "trained" to go natural. Four hours later our little bundle of joy was born. The doctor who had been in the middle of a family party was in the delivery room literally less than five minutes.  I pushed three times and out came James. He was born at 9:41 pm and was 8 lbs and 20.5 inches long. He has been a doll!  He didn't nurse as well as Ben the first few days but seems to have caught up in his skill set the last few days. He sleeps like a newborn and hugs like one too.  I love him more than I thought possible. Having two kids is proving to be double the fun and double the tears-- O I mean adventure.

In popping range

My poor neglected blog!  I have so much to tell and if I don't tell it --- it will pass by as if it never happened-- not even a memory because it will be forgotten if I do not write it. I don't know where to start so I'll just start with Ben. I could start with a list of things he's broken in the last 48 hours or I could start with the fact that he is able to identify some letters and some numbers. His colors are a little shady but they are slowly emerging. He broke a neighbors planter and his grandma Blackhurst's frame in the past two days. Of course he was in "time out" for both shenanigans but I have no idea if he fully understands the time out concept yet. We'll keep at it. His sentences are starting to include anywhere from two to four words-- his favorite phrases right now are "open door," "come on," "lights on," "amen" and of course "NO."  I smile from the inside out every time he talks right now because it is so new to me to have a child actually be able to articulate his wants to me. It's great!  Other developmental steps are front rolls, jumping, and screaming like a girl whenever he sees water on the ground and waiting for me to walk him around it.

On to James. I'm just about to pop. I'm a little over a week away from my due date-- and I'm getting so excited (and uncomfortable). I keep telling myself I'm OK to wait but I feel like I'm less nervous about this birth and more just plain ready to have him in my arms. My nesting has broken out into full swing and I'm buying supplies, organizing and preparing meals like it's nobody's elses business. Every time I run into a friend or stranger in the store they want to know how close I am to delivery-- I'm really showing right now.

To end I'll continue the saga of our lives-- things haven't got a whole lot less dramatic around here but I feel like we're managing our stress better. We're moving out of our condo sometime this month (hopefully after little man is born). I have been pretty busy working from home on writing/PR projects for the company Go Au Pair. I hope I can keep it up and have two kids all the while-- things will be crazy I'm sure for the next couple months. Will is helping out a lot with Ben and looking for jobs all the while. We've had a few interviews and don't know if it will produce results but are hopeful. I can't imagine the day when our expenses are less than our income--- O the feeling ;)  I have to say though it's been great to be able to have savings pad our path all this time... or we would be sad sad dudes. We're just about to the end of the savings pad so we're praying for miracles in the next little while :)  Well I'm thinking that's the latest. I'm happy to have such a great family. I'm more grateful for Will everyday and love being a mother.  So although we have our downs we have a lot more ups!

Horrible, Terrible, no good very bad day!

...And when I say day I mean month. June 2012 will go down for us in infamy.  We are soooo glad it's over. Well our drama is not over- but the intial "hit" is over. Every week and sometimes day brought a new challenge.  The month began with Ben breaking his leg and two days later Will found out that he did not pass the boards-- a test he studied 8-10 hours a day for six months. It was pretty much one of our last ditch efforts to get Will back to becoming a practicing doctor. Moving on-- our home is admist a short sale and two weeks before we were supposed to move we are having to redo all of the paperwork and get new approvals--- additional time and paperwork problems sometimes scare away the buyer--- we are hoping this does not become the case. O and did I tell you we are frantically searching for jobs in our house. Will and I have had some glitches come up with his benefit and we are living off our little savings right now-- Yikes! I am looking for work I can do from home and Will is looking for work he can do in the medical arena so we can jumpstart him into a different career. O well, with all this going on- I won't mention the part about the actual place we are going to live when we do move out (hopefully in the next couple weeks) is still undetermined. We've got some hang up going on associated with our living situations as we have them planned so may move up to my parents or I actually thought I saw a cute little spot down by the river that might be nice for some temporary refuge.  I hope this post is not too much of a downer--- we already spent last month being sad about it so we are looking forward to a brighter future this month ;)  In the meantime we aren't moving to Austrailia cause I hear they have bad days there too....

As for our little munchins--- Ben is speaking more in sentences, and trying harder to communicate ideas with us-- which is really stink'n cute. He wobbles around on his cast like it is nobody elses business. The cast comes off in a week and a half and I can't wait!  Even though I don't think his injury has scarred him for life- I think it has scarred me for life ;)  As for Little James.... He is two and a half months from his estimated time of arrival and wiggling and jiggling like it is nobody's business. I have gained 17 pounds so far and am starting to experince more back aches. My heartburn is still pretty consistent but does not wake me up in the middle of the night as often.  We are prepping for the arrival of James this month by trying to wean Ben off the binki and settle him in a toddler bed.... Wish us luck!  We'll I'm signing off. I hope some of you are still out there cause we are still here :)

p.s. Don't worry admist our sorrows we did find a way to leave our home in the month of June... below are pics of us at the Hill Air force Museum, the chalk art festival, a lunch at Subway after going to the Treehouse Museum and at a time share in Eden. If you notice I am not in any pictures... that was in fact by design-- My sister cut my hair and understood me wrong when I told her how short to cut it... basically by the end of the day I looked like a cross between a cockatoo and a boy.

 

Friends, James, and Test results (almost)

 My Ben is a blabbering fool right now, and I mean that in the cutest of ways. He talks and talks and talks and talks. It is sooooo cute!!! Most of what he says is not in my particular vernacular, but none the less it is talking!  Of the particulars that are in my vocabulary: he knows the names of most fruits, common animals, and common everyday household items like tooth brush and shoes. One of his recent adorable habits are starting the alphabet at the letter "Q" and moving on down to about "U." I mean don't get me wrong he can start at "A" but generally chooses not to. We are approaching his 20 month birthday on Friday this week and age developments include acknowledging when he has poo poo in his diaper, taking me by the hand and leading me places he wants to go, climbing up and down furniture, and squealing like a girl whenever he sees his favorite toddler friend Boston (see below).

Now onto James, our baby in waiting. James is a little over five months old (interuo, of course). He is a wiggling and jiggling inside, and his dad has felt him kick a couple of times already.  I am not sure his weight, I think he is close to two pounds but not there yet. I have gained nine pounds total so far, so I think we're good in the belly area.  This pregnancy has been different from Ben's pregnancy, some of the differences include, less nausea, more heart burn, less energy, more constipation, and ok I think that is enough info for now ;)

Will and I have been busy birds- studying for his test. Well he has done the studying and I have done the constant care of Ben, even in the evenings-which has made it complicated to participate as much in my calling in the young women's as an advisor. Will's boards were divided into two days over the past two weeks and last Wednesday we finally finished six months of none stop studying. It's nice to get to see Will again, on a more regular basis (see below). Now, however, everything we had on hold for the last half of year is back on the bracket… which is a little unnerving-- finding a job, more radiology experience, building a apartment in Will's family's basement so we have a place to live after we sale the condo we are in currently, and so on. We are hoping to find out the results to Will's test June 4th--- but we may not be in this particular batch of score results. So wish us luck!  Well I think I've covered the whole family- so until next time- remember to brush your teeth.

It's a Boy!

Leaping Lizards I've got another one on the way!  We had the ultrasound to tell us so this past Tuesday. I had already wiped the slate clean of having a preference for a girl or boy --  knowing either would be great.... but as I heard the news that Ben would have a younger brother I couldn't help but dream of the two -- walking in one anothers footsteps- recieving the priesthood, serving missions, finding wives... I want nothing more in the world than to have my children find their best friend right beside them throughout their lives.

I've attached a picture of the ultra sound that just makes me melt. I can almost see the features our little guy will have. Throughout the ultra sound he wiggled and jiggled and crossed his legs and stretched--- we've got a real active one in there :)  I couldn't wait to get home to tell Ben about his new little brother -- and while I know Ben has no idea what is ahead, I remind him everyday! He's going to be a big brother! I am so excited to be carrying another boy and it was equally exciting to find out so far so good- two hands, two feet, working organs and a strong heart beat.


Ben's first Easter was great. He attended two easter egg hunts and slept through both afternoon sessions of conference the next week. I got to listen to all the talks because the morning sessions he was a pro at keeping himself occupied.

As for the drama in our lives- it is all in Ben's mouth right now. He has been squawking off and on for two weeks straight so far, and finally signs of why have emerged-- his back teeth. Those molars are really killing the kid. They have come with bruises on his face, blood, and even a hematoma (aka..blood blister) on the back right side where one is trying to emerge but has not found sucess yet like the other ones. It has meant a lot of hugs for me but also very little time to do anything else but tend to little Ben. I hope his "pain" goes away soon.

We'll I better be off. I was up til 2 am last night with pregnacy heartburn--- so I can't wait to make it up tonight ;)

Summer

Lew

OK, it's high time I stop wallowing in self pity, and I start talking about the most important thing that has happened to me this year, Lew!  I am moving into month four of my pregnancy and my baby and belly are growing. Her inutero name is inspired by Will--- "Lew" is roughly how you would pronounce his name backwards. The nickname will advance to "Lew, Lew" or stay the same depending on the gender, which we will find out somewhere around April 18th next month. I already talked about the major first trimester differences between Lew and Ben-- I was a lot more tired and less nauseous. So far in my second trimester I am still a little tired by have yet to experience the back aches I did with Benjamin. I heard the baby's heart beat last week. Actually I recorded it and have played it several times since. There is nothing more comforting at this stage than hearing your baby's heart pounding! Ben of course does not get that I am carrying his new sibling in my tummy-- but he will be hard pressed not to notice his mother's weight change in the coming months ;) I plan on transitioning Ben to a toddler bed this summer- just months shy of his second birthday.  I also plan on weaning him from his binki in the next few months. Currently he only uses it for sleep… this is to cut down on binki competition when Lew is born.

As for my little rascal-- he is tearing it up.  Literally, my face is evidence of the fact. One bright and early morning I was pulling myself out of bed after getting Ben from his crib. But it obviously wasn't fast enough for my little tyke. He took and sunk his fingernails into my nose and then quickly crossed them through my cheek. I looked really funny for a few days. The pic below, you can tell my scar is on the mend, but the first few days were a gash of red puffiness.

Speaking of Tyke's I got Ben a Bike. I had scoured the DI for at least two weeks before I gave up and searched the internet for a good deal. He is now the proud owner of a tryke---  I was sooo excited for it to come in the mail, as it was sent to my mom and dad's place, I called my parents everyday to see if it had arrived, and the moment it did I ran up to claim our prize. Will then spent the next hour trying to assemble it while Ben climbed all over him and the bike parts. The next morning Ben woke up and wanted nothing to do with us, he just wanted his bike. So fun!!  I've uploaded a pic. of the bike but he is sleeping now so I'll get you a picture of him on the bike later.

As for Will and I, we are moving. In a moment of insanity, we decided to see if we could move in with Will's parents. And actually it was the first moment of sanity I felt in months.  I've been crunching numbers and moving in with family was the best option…. but my parents were out of space, Dale wouldn't let Will and I have their master bedroom and I didn't think Will's parents would be possible (a. cause they didn't have an apartment for us to live in, and b. because I'm still weary of whether or not we would be compatible under the same roof- We're sooo different :) So as for a. we offered to help build and pay for an apartment in their basement, with some of our last savings-- they didn't take us up on either offer- they did however tell us we could move in and they would build and pay for an apartment to be put in their basement. as for b. -- I don't think that will ever change. But I don't believe they are holding out for b. and I am learning to let go of b. for my own good. Really I don't believe I would have felt peace in this move if the Lord didn't have a way for us to accomplish a, and b. I'm hopeful that our relationship with Will's parents will be all the better for it. Besides- they are so sweet for making a. happen ;)

So with Will taking the test and me growing exponentially, and us moving, these next few months are going to be big ones.  Keep us in your prayers!

Summer

Back again

Whoa, I missed all of February blogging….. this can only mean one thing….. My little grumpy pants self was trudging through a first trimester of pregnancy. And boy was I grumpy…. at least when I was awake. I won't even tell you of the number of phone calls I sent to my message machine and times poor Ben brought me a blanket because he knew the bed is just where I hung out. I am thirteen weeks and due September 13th of this year. Just a couple of weeks before Ben's second birthday. I decided I suffer less with post partum and more with first trimester partum. I can't decide if my least favorite trimester issues was that I had to sleep 11+ hours a day or was grumpy 88 percent of the time. On a great note though-- I wasn't nauseous at all!!!! I did throw up once out of the blue at midnight once, but that was not repeated.

So let me catch you up on my little star. He is talking up a storm lately. He repeats most things we ask him to. And says words I didn't teach him…. like "cool." Whenever he reads his books he knows at few words (aka pictures' s name) on each page. He loves to read and O he loves his belly button.  I know we weren't on the topic of belly buttons but I thought I would seg-way into it. The kid walks around with his finger in his belly button. Especially when he is tired or sensitive.  And I'll let you in on a little secret if you promise not to tell anyone. I am a belly button lover too. I have always found comfort in touching my belly button…. who knew stuff like that was genetic :)  Ok well I better get to fixing my little man and my big man their dinner.  Stay tuned until next time… I'll try not to skip any more months of blogging.

CAR

My little man Ben is really doing the toddler thing as of late. He walks wherever he goes, screams when he doesn't get his way and his favorite word is "CAR."  Its the first word he says when he wakes up in the morning and the last word he says before he goes down at night. Speaking of sleep.... I have felt like an ubber cool mom as of late. Without any intentional training my little guy can go down for a nap and or bedtime with his eyes wide open... he will then either sleep or talk for the next 30 mins than go to sleep. I kinda sorta gave up on any of that babywise train of thought -- it was too stressful for me to feel like I was making my little man sleep when I wanted him to sleep.  I wanted him to sleep because he wanted to sleep. Not saying anything about the sleep methods out there but anything too planned in the realm of naps and sleeping, freaks me out because then that means I can or am doing something wrong when plans fall through.... Anywho I just feel cool cause Ben sleeps close to 11 hours at night and 2 to 3 hours during the day without any pre-programed plan!

Also another baby moment that has me feeling like I'm doing an OK job is Ben eats with a spoon almost better than I do!  He is detailed like his dad. He takes the time to look at the food and carefully lift the spoon to his mouth, once the food is in place on the spoon of course. My neighbor couldn't believe the difference between her 18 month old and 16-month-old Ben. They ate lunch together and Ben kept all of his taco soup in his bowl until devoured with a spoon... meanwhile her daughter's dinner was spread all over the table.

Listen to me blabber... I may be boasting it up too much-- my only consolation is that this blog is more private so the world doesn't know how Bencenteric I am ;) As for the rest of my life... we have an offer on our condo-- but it will take another few months to be approved--- as it is a short sale.  In the meantime I've been planning life after this condo and it looks a little tight. Honestly though I have no idea how we've made it this long (close to 3 years without a job) and we still have some savings!  I know the Lord has blessed us and I know he will continue to bless us. Here's hoping for a  prosperous year!

Summer