Enjoying the Journey

This post doesn't really fit with the themes running through the other posts in this blog- but I don't have somewhere else to write it. And since these entries end up in my "personal history" maybe someone will read it someday and they will feel less alone.

Loneliness is the topic of the blog. I guess I have experinced a whole gammit of loneliness by this time in my life. The loneliness of not being married, the loneliness of not having close friends to talk to, the loneliness of coming off a mission and feeling like the time I spent doing other things was worthless and no one could feel what I felt.

Well this is a whole different type of "loneliness" I have my spouse, my cute kids, my close friends, and I think I am doing some pretty worthwhile thing raisng children, but sometimes it's just hard. Hard because I can't always talk to my husband- he works during the day we chase the kids around in the evening and I work at night. If I want to call my friends those phone conversations are quickly interupted by nagging children. My sisters are great to let my kids make noise and poop at their house and pick on their kids... but they have their crazy to deal with too.

I think it took time for me to adjust to my other stages where I felt alone, I am just trying to figure out how to tackle this one. It used to be a good run or book to calm my angst - now those two activites seem a little out of reach because of the big belly and the active baby and toddler. Writing helps too, I guess that is what I am doing now, but I admit because my career/job is writing I get a little "burnt out" in this area too. I don't know if there is some recipe for sanity when your drowning in toddler tanturms, inconsistent baby sleep patterns and the waddling woes of pregnancy. I'd love figure out the tricks of the trade though. I guess like the other times in my life- by the time I figure it out I'll be over the phase. My kids will be older, my husband and my schedules will compliment one another better, and so on.  Maybe the trick really is enjoying the journey. Wish me luck :)

Love,

Summer

Made it through December

There I was in my third trimester of pregnancy with back aches, two kids, lots of cooking, tons of work deadlines, a few parties, and my dad who was in and out of the hospital. Things weren't looking good for the waddling woman- Would her and her family have a merry season or one full of tears and great nashing of teeth....???? I'm happy to say we made it. We made it through December, with only one major temper tantrum at 1 am in the morning... That is pretty good for me (he he- you thought I was talking about Ben - I wasn't :)  We had a Christmas brunch at our place that day and I finished my "work shift" and looked around the house to find it in complete disarry I FREAKED! Will barely survived the meltdown but he buckled down and started working. We cleaned until 2 am and I went to sleep more prepared for the morning. Besides that I kept my cool the rest of the month.

December actually was pretty magical as it turns out. I'm starting to get the whole "the magic of Christmas is Children" thing. Ben was so alive! Everything was fun for him the snowmen, the Christmas lights, the Christmas tree, the gifts under the tree, and the list go on... We spent some time at city creek and lots of time with Ben's cousins. December is also Will's Birthday and our anniversary-- both of which where perfect! We saw Hunger Games on his birthday at my request ;) and our Anniversary in a bed and breakfast at the Armstrong Mansion- a home built in 1893. It was goregous! Will also got to try Rodizios Grill for the first time and he ate chicken heart- I wasn't brave enough.

As for the other two Ben started Primary today-- I have never been so nervous in my whole life! My little baby! I told Will all morning that Ben and I were not emotionally prepared to go to church today but Will was unyeilding he made us dress to the tens and make our way to our fateful transition. Ben only shed one tear and then the rest of the time he was perfect! I'm still tramatized over the whole situation though. What other story can I tell you about Ben. He says the cutest things right now-- "I'm not a person I'm a big boy" or "I don't need to go potty" - only moments before he goes potty or "James wants some water" then I hand ben the water - and he is obliged :) Ben is doing much better with potty training - to which Will and I are THRILLED!

James is adorable right now- he laughs whenever he balances on two feet and he and Ben love to wrestle and play in blankets. James is  a great sleeper and is starting to turn into a toddler already. He has to touch everything and moans for help whenever he wants something. I think I have told you before he is a scooter like Ben was. His little gorilla crawl makes everyone smile and his babbling is constant. He talks much more than Ben - or I guess makes much more noise than Ben ever did at his age.

Madison had her first baby shower. She got lots of pink clothes and ruffly skirts. She loves her daddy- I know because much of the time when he talks she is moving. Finally, she is giving my back a run for it's money- my back aches are unbearable half the day- I don't know if it is my age or picking up Ben or James every few minutes but this pregnancy is quite challenging -- relatively I guess. I know lots of other women who really have problems so I better not complain tooo loud!

Well You're probably tired of reading and I think I covered this last month pretty well- Here is to a great 2014!

Love,

Summer