A TBI and some other issues/challenges- YIKES

Time to update the ole blog. Share the whats up to the chillen and the hubby. Lets start with me- cause I've got something to say about my world- I'm dizzy and sick and headachy all the time now a days. March 7th my van was tboned in a round about- Heaven was smiling on me, because my children were not in the car with me this and they are almost always in the car with me. Unfortunately, though I'm a walking brain injury five months later... It's unfortunate but it has been a blessing in disguise as we have had a few things pop up with our kids-- one we recently discovered our cute Maddy and Ben have some sensory issues that cause a lot more overwhelm for them then we prior to have known. To fix this- it's lots of cost and time. I don't work as much cause I can't, so in return I spend more needed time with my children in rehab activities. As well the settlement from the accident is helping to fund the treatments.  I'm so grateful for my accident, but really hope I can get rid of some of these post concussion syndrome issues- It makes me a sicko lots and that could potentially last forever - YIKES. Hoping this will go away.

As for Will- he is handling this all like a champ- patient and helpful. He steps it up whenever he sees I'm done for the count and is constantly looking for ways to serve me. I'm sure that has to get old, but he doesn't complain. In the meantime he is studying to take the AHIMA final exam in two weeks- once we have this done we should be able to look for some better paying jobs- that would be a dream come true if this were all to work out this year- so here is hoping!

Benji- he is shooting right up- he is so so tall and so good looking. Obedience seems to be one of his hallmarks- he doesn't want to be on the "wrong" side of the rules. This means two things- One you can really trust this guy- he is very moral and good. The second is he is really hard to tell "no" or to redirect. He's intense. He is rigid because he seems to have no middle ground things are his way or no way. We've got him in some social skills classes and activities to help build some flexibility of thought ;) Overall I can't tell you how impressed I am with Benny- he is such a good and smart boy. His siblings adore him and dad and I do too!!

James- my little sweetheart and my little tender heart - he loves to please and hates to disappoint. He also loves the trampoline, and our downstairs gym. He is in constant motion. His favorite meal of the day is breakfast and I swear he could eat four servings of breakfast (Ben is the opposite he eats like a bird at breakfast). He did great in kindergarten and had a good time being a grown up- he is tots ready for 1st grade and loves to learn and play with friends. He reads but only when pressed- he likes us to do that work for him but if forced he can sound out and spell quite a bit. Today he was wondering if we could get a swimming pool with fish in it and his dad told him no- because the fish will poo in the pool so then logically James asked if we could potty train fish.... he is so cute and so creative.

Maddy, lets finish with my most complex child. We are finally starting to pinpoint her delays - communication and motor delays and lean in and help her improve - the occupational therapies and some energy work stuffarooni. She is finally starting to really dialogue with others (the last couple years she had very little communication and almost no response to people around her). It's actually been really heartbreaking for me as a mom. I look at my daughter and see so much heart and personality and it feels in so many ways that she is lost inside of her brain dealing with some brain integration issues. I guess I'm dedicating my life or at least the next few years to helping her/and her teachers to find herself. I hope to do the right things, I tend to really devote myself to progress which may make for a little too much drive and at times less than faithful responses - with my daughter on the line I'm prayerfully looking for answers more than I ever have before. I'm so grateful for a Creator who knows and loves me and for the revelation he is willing to provide in these matters. I hope to bless my children in the ways that will best support their future success.

As for me my job as a mom - it is currently heart wrenching and heart filling all at the same time. I fall short every single day. Despite this- I do feel the angels accompanying me on my journey - not only through friends and family but through unseen angels as well. I hope to continue to be worthy of their presence and to some day be able to show my Father in Heaven the same love and consideration as he is showing me and my family right now.

Keep with us on our journey- we've got a lot of unwritten stories and I'm sure some pretty cool turns and triumphs as well :)

Love,

Summer

Another Move and a new year

I can't tell you how busy I am. Will finished up classes this month for his RHIA - now he has the certification test hopefully this next month... Building a business is like building a house you look at it and think - I"ll paint that wall and built a window seat over there and it will be quick and easy- RIGHT! - NOT at all! Every time I think up another angle to my business I realize - that is going to take time and energy and resources and connections- and if I don't have those things I have to get them or wait. At times I want to throw in the towel but I don't think that is the right thing- it is just throwing in the towel is easier - letting someone else choose my job or tell me what is right and wrong for "their" company is easier than saying what is right or wrong for "my" company. Anywho- I've mentioned it before but I've started a digital marketing company and I'm definitely on the uphill right now.

Now for Ben- he loves having more space in the new home and he often wanders the backyard playing imagination games. Yesterday he dug up some clear rocks in the garden and he was happy as a clam - as if he'd found gold. He walks to school everyday and walks himself home with our neighbors- he loves doing that, being a part of a little group of kids and also the independence - it's totally a win/win for me :) Ben likes his new school and plays with kids more during recess than he did in his last school.

James says his favorite part of our home is our new dog - Violet Sky. She is a mini golden doodle- we got her as a puppy and are slowly potty training her and trying to keep her bitting to a minimum by spraying all the furniture with bitter spray for her mouth. I think James also likes that we have more space in the home but really he is just happy if he can be around Ben - independence isn't his number one goal like it has been with Ben.

Madison is turning a corner on potty training! Less fights more automatic agreement to head to the toilet- unfortunately she still demands that I be in attendance for the event - so she will have an occasional accident if I am delayed in taking her. She doesn't let Will take her at all - total bummer! She is also talking a lot more and tanturming in generally a lot less. Her hair is the shortest it has ever been as she has cut it twice in the last four months. So the hair salon had to do their best to fix it after both cuts - she said both times- I'm like repunzel mom! Curse the day she ever watched that show ;)

Well- I'll end with even though things are crazy here- we are very happy in our new home and with our new neighbors and ward. We hope to stay here for a while and to make good friends in the process.

Until next time

Love,

Summer

A move, a baptism and Lighting McQueen

Lets start with Maddy - and her fascination with "lite a ma queen" (Lighting McQueen). Whenever she sees a red car she squills and jumps and says "there's lite a ma queen" and if she's on foot she rushes to the car for a hug and a kiss from the car. She is thrilled to be living with Grandma for the next half a year or so because she can visit "lite a ma queen" in the garage whenever she wants, and when "lite a ma queen" is not in the garage she makes assumptions that he has gone to Disney land for good behavior. So cute! On another note she is full of fire. I would say she is my fireyest kid but truly Ben did and does rival her - these two children keep me on my toes. They know their minds and very little will change those minds. Lately, I've begun to think that Maddy is mimicking her hero - Ben is her everything and she really does do what he does- which is also so cute and so infuriating. As for potty training, she is still fighting it but she doesn't have near as many accidents so that is progress. We recently put her in counseling because we suspected a little emotional trauma had happened as a result of the fire. -the counseling has helped me so much! And I suspect it has helped her too. She is getting better every day- and where I saw a few learning delays I see her brilliance instead. She is really a very bright girl - I hope to continue to be able to unravel her powerful personality in a helpful to herself and the rest of the world kind of way- wish us luck!

James is kinda sorta the cutest kid ever! Always with the smiles and laughter and hi fives. I love how everything he does is so exaggerated. "This is going to be the biggest, mega ultra blast" or "I'm going to jump ultra higher than spiderman." His phrases always come with sound effects and his energy for life is a breath of fresh air. He spends almost every waking moment on the trampoline - when he isn't in school. At school he is above average with academics and pretends to not like talking to girls but often does talk to them when boys aren't looking. There is a girl named Riley in his class that chases him around trying to get a hug out of him everyday- ironically enough my James doesn't really like hugs from anyone but his mom (so glad I made the cut!) As far as fitting into the sibling order he loves his brother as well and is still warming up to Maddy (I assume it's because she is a girl) but loves her tons too. He has a little bit of a screaming/crying thing going whenever one of the sibs teases him- so the noise level in the home keeps pretty high because of his vocal cords.

Let us finish with the Baptism boy. Ben was all smiles yesterday. He was so happy - I think its the most happy I have ever seen him. He couldn't sleep the night before - he was up until 12 pm. He went about his day helping and preparing. Once he got to the baptism he made sure to hug every aunt, uncle, and grandparent- there was a lot of hugging- he even doubled up on a few of them. He said the water wasn't really warm but it wasn't really cold either- just comfortable. He had asked his Aunt Cami to give a talk on baptism and she did a stellar job of talking about Zoram who when he decided to go with Nephi into the wilderness he made a lifelong covenant- and much like Zoram Ben was making a covenant today that would affect his entire life. The other speaker was for the other boy being baptized was Finn. She gifted Ben and Finn with blankets and lights to remind them of the gift of the holy ghost. We arrived home with a table full of presents- journals, a tithing bank, treats, a bookmark and a keychain. He was so excited he opened them all up before I got there and I have no idea who gave him the presents- YIKES! As for the rest of his life, he is liking school - not crazy social but can carry on a good conversation with people when he wants to. He loves comic books and reading Diary of a Wimpy Kid. He is very bright and very fun to talk to. I'm so lucky to be his mom and so happy his baptism went so well!

As for Will and I- We moved our family into my parent's basement apartment last month- it was kind of on a whim - but really I felt like it was the right place to be. It's nice to find refuge from the storms and from the burdens that come along with adulting. My parents are the perfect hosts and we love being with them. I feel fortunate to be their daughter. We really did get a great return out of our home in Kaysville and should be set up to get a little bit bigger home in the coming year. Will is going to be finishing his HIM certificate here in December and I am continuing to grow my PopcornLeads Business. We are busy - I hardly see Will during the week and long for the weekends where I get to be with him.

I think that is all she wrote. Thank you for following us on our journey. We are grateful to have such a wonderful family and to have each other.

Sincerely,

Summer Blackhurst

ps, we had to give Skips back to his original owners because mom and dad don't do dogs- we all miss him terribly! I had no idea how attached I was to the little guy :)

As time goes by

Let's start with the dog- We came home and caught Skips red-handed or rather red faceded from eating our taco soup leftovers-- he loves it when we leave the house and forget to clean up the stove top leftovers-- STINKER!  He is such a loving dog - I forgive him for all of his transpasses even when he pees on the kitchen counter-- YIKES!

Ben feels like he grew up overnight. His hugs feel like they are coming from a boy- who is getting stronger not a chubby baby/toddler type kid I have been used too. He is bright and still as active as always.  His baptism will be this year I can't believe I will have an 8-year-old. He is already asking to babysit. He promises James and Maddy when he does get to babysit their days will be filled with movies and popcorn.  Which really he figured out how to make his own popcorn- from the popcorn maker one day and had drenched half a bowl of popcorn in a fully melted cube of butter-- he was not sad about the greasy mistake at all! Tonight driving home from my brothers Ben said- "you know mom, I really am not getting the summer I want. I haven't hardly watched any tv." #momwin! Currently Ben has been staying up past his bedtime to read- its been fun seeing him morf into a reader - even if he doesn't understand all the words he is reading...

James is my ham. He loves pictures of himself taken. He loves dancing and singing if the phone cam is rolling and tonight his girl cousins had him dancing in front of their skit while they sang. He is such a lovable kid! James hangs on Ben's every word and loves getting "training" from him. Even if this weekend's training was a punch fest so Ben could train him how not to be a "whimpy kid" The STINKER! (Ben not James ;)  James enters Kindergarten this year. He is so excited. I got him a paw patrol backpack for school and he can't wait to be in the same school as Ben. James lives on the trampoline during the summer. Jumping as high as he can and making up his own little world out there. James is a lot better at playing pretend than Ben. Ben is very logical like Will (I remember talking to Will when we were dating about a movie he had watched- and we debated how unrealistic it was---I think it was a superhero movie- I told him- "WILL they aren't supposed to be based in reality- face palm - LOL I guess I understand now why I have such a literal oldest child and a not so literal second child #whosgeneswinmineorhis)

Madison is turning a corner on potty training (cue the fireworks and cakes and music) I can't tell you how stressful this has been for Will and I -- she is 4 and a half years old. We figure she just got hit with constipation at the wrong time and as a result, couldn't go when she needed to and the who scenario has been stressful for all three of us. She has started to talk a lot more and as a result James is starting to include her into his clan (he kind of ignored her before then) their friendship is finally budding. Ben has always babied Maddy - I'm talking he rolls out the red carpet for her all the time- it is so cute! It is so fun for me to have a girl - she dances with me and breaks out into singing whenever she is playing with a doll or feels excited - finally! someone I can relate to! I'm counting down the days until I will have someone to enjoy my hallmark movies with! I still am trying to get a handle on her character- but if I used some nouns right now they would be independent, full of thoughts, driven, and loving. She gets so sad if she thinks she has hurt something or someone - I have to convince her its going to be ok. She broke a handwashing jar the other day- it was 45 mins of hysteria and her begging- mom fix it mom fix it.

Will is back to school- two more classes until his RHIA certificate -- we think we will be done in December. I've started a business and have some really busy days that end at 2 or 3 am and those weeks can be tricky. My business is marketing for nonprofits. I love it and I love the people I work with- really hoping it takes off in a manageable part-time sort of way. Will is my best friend and my favorite person- I miss him all the time- ironically parenting feels like a lot of time away from him- even though he is in the same room. I don't want my kids to grow up but really look forward to the day that I won't have to compete for Will's attention or him mine. I appreicate our date nights more than anything now :)

Welp I think that is the whole run down. We'll be back with another edition someday hopefully sooner than later:)

Summer

ps I turned 40 last month- What a beautiful world :)

Its a new year

Woah!

I really neglected this blog in 2017! It happens to be my kid's journal entries- so I better pick up the pace in 2018!

So many months to cover and so little energy in my body right now.  I noticed my last post talked about working alot.... Well as things turned out that trend did continue through to the end of the year. I was literally running from activity to activity. One kid to another. One mess to another. One job to another. All the while Will studied and tried to keep up with his classes. Not going to lie I did not like having so much time away from Will. I had no idea how much I needed a husband until I got one and now that I have him I'm kind of lost whenever he is really busy (insert frowny face here). So thats the dets on Will and I- I guess I led with us this time.

Ben, we will put him next. Ben is at the top of all the lists in his class- the fastest to finish a math chapter and reading and etc... He is doing really well in school and loves his teacher Mrs. Israelsen. He still likes Pokemon but has moved onto other dorky Japanese cartoons like Yoki and he likes the zombies versus whatever games- that he can only really play when he is at my dad's house. he is as brave a kid as you will ever find. Yesterday while at his friends' house he jumped over a box and landed wrong on his foot. Instead of telling his friends dad he crawled around on the floor upstairs for an hour and a half until I got there-- the little stink!  So he is hobbling now and testing his foot abilities every two mins to see if it is time to be up and going yet.

James loves to laugh and his jokes are shooting out his mouth every other min and when they are spoken out loud they are shooting out his cute little eyes. Notable achievements in preschool this year - are he really seems to have great handwriting. He likes coloring more than Ben does and he can't remember his friend's names but he has a lot of them in class :)  James is in constant motion. I wondered what he would do with winter being too cold to jump on the trampoline and instead of being out on the trampoline in any of his spare time right now. He runs back and forth and back and forth in the front room all day. So cute.

Madison- is a TOUGH sleeper! She is so hard to put down and get her to stay down. And often she will get up at 3 am or 4 am and want to just talk... So so hard to deal with. I am beside myself I asked social media (you know I am desperate if I turn to Facebook for help) the internet and the pediatrician and all I can seem to diagnosis is that she just isn't a good sleeper!! Yikes!  She also has my heart lately. I think one of my strong love languages are words of affirmation. And she says the sweetests things to me. "Mom I love you- Mom you're my best friend Mom I want a hug..." She is such a wonderful daughter! I feel so blessed to have her. She is also talking a lot more now. Yesterday she started a sentence with "actually, I don't think I want one..." She is so cute!

I think that is all she wrote. I'm kind of maxed out lately and hope to find more balance in the coming months.

Take care. Keep with us in our journey :)

Summer

Working hard isn't so bad

I've got to quote these kids! They say the cutest things....

Lets start with James-- I'm standing in the bathroom and he jumps into the doorway and says "I'm ninja James!!!"  He was so cute I told the story a couple times to friends and since then he requests I tell the story all the time. He also likes to make up songs and dance for whoever will give him an audience. He loves legos and is the friendliest little tyke this side of the Mississippi. He started preschool last week and I miss him just thinking about it. He went last year too but this year he is gone the same time Madison is gone I'm kind of like a lost puppy right now. I'll end with one more quote from James- we were talking about what fires can burn and Ben and James were shouting out things like houses, metal, and then James said what about a whale under water??? -- Touche!

Ben is a wiz at math and it takes him only seconds to catch up with adult conversations... for example he wanted the run down on hurricanes and how water in houses hurt the walls-- we explained the molding process and how you have to knock out walls if your house is flooded too much. He actually sometimes knows more than I do ... do you know anything about the lemurs of Madagascar?? I don't but Ben can tell you all about them. He also likes to talk about things like inertia and gravity and stuff... This kid is smart as a whip! My favorite is when he gives his brother and sister character lectures-- "James it isn't appropriate for you to hurt CC she is a girl and you have to be so nice to girls..." and then continue that conversation for 23 more minutes straight.

Madison is my most quotable kid right now... She screams and cries and when we don't give her attention for the spectacles she'll say- "momma I'm crying," "Mom I"m upset" "Mom I'm sad" and then she continues the conversation to say "I'm being brave" "I'm not crying anymore." She also makes up stuff like - putting on a dress and calling herself by the latest disney princes "I'm Moana" or "I'm Ana!" my favorite was today she said "I'm an Ana baby, not a Mater baby (Popular talking truck in Cars)." I've also recently learned a few tricks about my little girl. She doesn't always show remorse when she hurts someone, but she instantly launches into a temper tantrum about something else. I guess she gets mad instead of sad...  Last thing, Maddy is in preschool- I wasn't planning on putting her there, but wanted to work on getting her to talk more cause she was quiet quite a bit. She seems to be more talkative now, so we shall see how the year goes. 

Will and I are pretty much running ALL THE TIME.  I'm really busy with work and the kids with three different school schedules and Will is busy with work and school. I have minutes where I imagine my life with just being a mom, no work and it seems like it would be great but then I also think I might be stir crazy... I try not to come up with what if things were different with Will and his job scenarios because at the end of the day - I couldn't ask for a better husband or more flexible stay at home job. I feel so so blessed.  I'm also a beehive advisor and I'm thinking sometimes I'm more rambunctious than those 12 year olds! I guess they bring the silly out in me. Love the calling but it is a tad crazy with my already crazy schedule. "You've got this Summer" that what I have to think so I don't crumble in on myself ;)

I hope alls well with all of you!

Sincerely,

Summer

 Trip to Bear Lake Over Labor Day with the Jarom Blackhurst Family

 Ben's first day of 1st grade

 Boys new bed

James and Maddy first day of different preschools (James in Layton, Maddy in Kaysville)

James turned 5 years old seven days after the kindergarten deadline

Life Continues

So much to say so little time... But I should say more, because it's been so many months since my recent musings of my Blackhurst clan.... I'm assuming my absence has to do with more time spent working. I've done that a bunch more in the last few months... I have been working with a youtuber, making music videos for causes and have had a bunch of fun learning about marketing videos and etc... and teaming with non profits. I've also recently started doing some medical writing for IHC, and still do some parenting blogging for Go Au Pair. I'm not sure how I'll keep doing it all though with Will going back to school for the next six months-- I can't wait to read my next journal entry to see if I survive... AKA working and being a good mom. And anytime Will is schooling. I'm missing him like crazy and get stir crazy with the kiddies - so heres hoping I make it.

Ben is growing right before my eyes. He reads better all the time, he is making more friends and hanging out more with kids in the neighborhood. We're embarking on that whole new world of parenting to find the balance of friends and family and good outside influences and avoiding bad outside influences- sometimes the lines aren't always clear so this is all unnerving.  Ben loves his dog Skips and would really love a puppy. Ben also loves Pokemon and picking on his little brother.

James is a hoot. The family comedian to say the least. The kid is always teasing and laughing. He's my smiley guy. Today James primary teacher and I agreed on one thing about him- he does not like to wear shoes. Wherever he goes the first thing he does is take them off. It makes me CRAZY! James is really easy to get along with - he generally hangs out with any kid that will give him attention and I think most kids are happy to jump on his bandwagon. He has a very soft heart. You raise your voice at him and the tears fall like rain. James starts his second year of preschool in the fall. His first year he was one of 12 boys so that was a pretty crazy class. I think he loved it though. I'm hoping for more girls this next year ;)

Madison - you know how you see the best and worst in yourself - in your kids? Well she is determined. She knows what she wants and doesn't stop until she gets it. The flip side is her tantrums are crazy dramatic and she lets you know when she isn't happy with you (sounding familiar yet ;)  It's Will- just kidding that ones me :) Maddy's burn wounds have healed more as has my heart. I feel more confident all the time that she will see her scars as a way to connect with others in similar situations and build people who feel inadequate. Instead of letting them define her for bad. I hope she knows how beautiful she is and how beautiful all of our scars are both visible and hidden. They are a testament to resilience and overcoming trials. I love this little girl with all my heart. I wish I could give her a sister- but for now I will just pray that she finds "sisters" throughout her life in the gospel and community.  She is a wonderful wonderful girl.

As for Will and I you got my sob story at the top so I'll end with Will. He continues to be my rock. The man I love and admire more everyday. He is in a new job- at the U- doing medical coding. He says it's more interesting than the last job. I hope hope hope we can someday find him some job that will be just as satisfying for him as being a doctor was... I'm grateful for how far he has come. I am so proud of the man he is and how much his "scars" have taught him.

I better leave you now- to hit the hay. Fight the good fight!

Wish us luck. We love you!

Summer