This post doesn't really fit with the themes running through the other posts in this blog- but I don't have somewhere else to write it. And since these entries end up in my "personal history" maybe someone will read it someday and they will feel less alone.
Loneliness is the topic of the blog. I guess I have experinced a whole gammit of loneliness by this time in my life. The loneliness of not being married, the loneliness of not having close friends to talk to, the loneliness of coming off a mission and feeling like the time I spent doing other things was worthless and no one could feel what I felt.
Well this is a whole different type of "loneliness" I have my spouse, my cute kids, my close friends, and I think I am doing some pretty worthwhile thing raisng children, but sometimes it's just hard. Hard because I can't always talk to my husband- he works during the day we chase the kids around in the evening and I work at night. If I want to call my friends those phone conversations are quickly interupted by nagging children. My sisters are great to let my kids make noise and poop at their house and pick on their kids... but they have their crazy to deal with too.
I think it took time for me to adjust to my other stages where I felt alone, I am just trying to figure out how to tackle this one. It used to be a good run or book to calm my angst - now those two activites seem a little out of reach because of the big belly and the active baby and toddler. Writing helps too, I guess that is what I am doing now, but I admit because my career/job is writing I get a little "burnt out" in this area too. I don't know if there is some recipe for sanity when your drowning in toddler tanturms, inconsistent baby sleep patterns and the waddling woes of pregnancy. I'd love figure out the tricks of the trade though. I guess like the other times in my life- by the time I figure it out I'll be over the phase. My kids will be older, my husband and my schedules will compliment one another better, and so on. Maybe the trick really is enjoying the journey. Wish me luck :)
Love,
Summer
1 comment:
I felt that too when my kids were little. As they grow up you talk to them and when they start school and other activities you begin interacting with adults more. Hang in there!!
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